Many people face different conflicts in their jobs. As a teacher supervisor, I am sandwiched between teachers whom I supervise, and management who monitor my job performance in relation to the teachers that I supervise. I am often placed in a situation where complaints from up and down the seniority ladder are brought straight to me. Often these complaints can lead to heated conflicts. People come to me, usually angry with a co-worker. My job is to listen to both sides and try to determine what to do to help the situation. For example, I had two teachers come into my office complaining about paperwork that a family service worker was requesting from them. “It’s ridiculous that you guys want us to give you all of this paperwork all the time. Why do we have to give this stuff to her three times a week?” one of them yelled angrily. This angry statement is a conflict trigger (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2009, p. 199).
I’ve learned from the Nonviolent Communication principles (Center for Nonviolent Communication, n.d.) that I need to be aware of my own feelings as someone is telling me an issue they are having. If the person complaining is terribly upset, they may express their anger toward me. It is important that I refrain from reciprocating that anger. After all, they are just honestly expressing their feelings to me and attempting to communicate to me what their needs are. So, one way to help with this conflict is to remain calm and really listen to what the other person is saying. What do they really need? Why are they so upset? What do they think is a fair resolution to their problem? By listening calmly, I can find answers to these questions.
After calmly listening to the problem and learning exactly what the problem is, it would be helpful if I could suggest that we all come up with a solution to the problem. If we can all suggest solutions to the problem, we may be able to come to a solution that benefits and/or satisfies the needs of everyone involved. Using this type of conflict management (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2009, p. 196) may benefit all parties involved.
I’ve noticed that one of my co-workers is quite good at conflict resolution. I spoke with her about it and she told me that she is not so good at it in personal relationships, but at work, she has learned to handle conflict well. She said she just plainly and calmly states what she wants, giving factual reasons why. At our place of employment, we have learned to back up all requests with documentation on why we need it or why we need something stopped or changed. This usually depletes instances of conflict.
References
The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). The center for nonviolent communication. Retrieved from http://www.cnvc.org/
O’Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2009). Real communication. New York: Bedford/St.
Amanda:
ReplyDeleteI like your co-worker's approach to conflict resolution. It helps to clearly define the issue. I also think your idea of everyone participating in the solution helps each person buy into sticking to the final decision. I have two co-workers that have gone through a college course on conflict resolution. They provided me with a technique where all sides are brought together. The ground rules are established with everyone that includes each person gets their chance to state the issue without any interruption from the other party. Then each person states their needs, solutions, and desired outcomes. The facilitator then just leads the parties through the process of deciding which solution they can agree upon or negotiates a hybrid of the solutions offered on which each person can agree.
I appreciated their ideas and thought I would share them with you. I hope they can be of some help.
Thank you for sharing your experiences with us,
LouAnn
Great post! I think that you colleague has a great approach to good communication skills. I think that as long as she listens as well as speaks, she will always have good conflict resolution skills. I think that getting everyone's desired outcomes on the table is also a good strategy because everyone feels heard.
ReplyDeleteAmanda,
ReplyDeleteI like how you stated, "after calmly listening to the problem," because listening and staying calm is essential in resolving conflicts. I also like how you suggested working together toward a resolution. I think this helps to build trusting relationships with co-workers when you consider their feelings as well as value their opinions.
Thanks for sharing.
Amanda,
ReplyDeleteYour co-worker has a great approach to conflict management/resolution, staying calm and stating what she wants. It is my opinion that emotions should be kept at a minimum in the work place, it causes situations to spiral into a much bigger issue than what the disagreement is really about. I think staying calm is the key to work place conflicts.