How Do Others See Me As a Communicator?

Over the past several years I have grown as a communicator. With experience in front of large groups as a trainer and adult educator, I have learned many strategies to calm my nerves and to engage my audience. When I  took the "Communication Anxiety" quiz (Rubin, Palmgreen, & Sypher, 2009), I discovered that I still feel a bit of anxiety when I speak in front of large groups and when I communicate with unknown individuals for the first few times. What I was surprised to discover is that other people do not see that anxiety.When I took the quiz, I felt that I had quite a bit of anxiety when speaking to unknown individuals and avoided talking with individuals that I do not know well. When a colleague and a friend of mine took the "Communication Anxiety" quiz (Rubin, Plamgreen, & Sypher, 2009) as it related to their feelings about me, they both felt that I did not avoid speaking with strangers; that I in fact, was very open and friendly, often going out of my way to speak to unknown individuals. This surprised me because I feel like I often avoid new people and new situations with which I am unfamiliar. Being someone who likes to be in control of certain situations; it makes me uncomfortable when I don't know what will happen next, or what topics I should avoid with certain people.

Another contrast that I noticed when comparing my results the communication quizzes with that of the other two individuals, was that when I took the "Listening Styles Profile" (Rubin, Graham, Perse, & Siebold, 2009) quiz, I felt that I listen better to emotionally charged conversation. When my colleague and my friend took the quiz, they felt that I listened well to both emotionally charged conversation and factual information. I often feel pressure to memorize factual information. However, I feel that when information is emotionally charged, I need little effort to remember the information.

Being aware of these differences in how others see me as a communicator has given me confidence in how others see me as a communicator. I have learned a great deal about communication over the past few weeks. The main thing that I have learned is that I must listen without judgment. I will sometimes enter into a conversation already thinking I know what information I will get from the conversation. Doing this decreases my effectiveness as a communicator because I will be tempted not to really actively listen to what is being said. It is something that I have had to make a conscious effort to change. I have also learned that how I present myself through written communication is very important. Understanding the context of the communication is vital to avoiding misunderstandings. I have learned that I need to be as clear as possible when communicating in a written format. Use of slang or sarcasm have no place in professional written communication. Avoiding familiarity in professional written communication is also important.

Being aware of my listening skills and my written communication skills will help me avoid misunderstandings when I communicate with families, children, and colleagues. I cannot assume that I know what a person will say to me in a conversation. If I do this, I may miss something very important. This is a very important skill to employ in my professional life. Listening to families and children as they talk can enlighten me to their feelings and their reasoning behind different decisions they have made; making me more responsive to their needs. Being conscious of my written communication will also cut down on miscommunication. It is important that families and colleagues understand exactly what I am saying in written communication. If I place slang or sarcasm into a written communication, I am opening myself up to misunderstandings or even a chance at offending a family. This would most certainly harm any chance at building the trusting relationships that help early childhood educators provide the best care, support, and education possible to families and their children. It would also damage my reputation and the professional respect I have with colleagues.


References
Rubin, R. B., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H. E. (Eds.) (2009). Communication research measures: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge.

Rubin, R. B., Rubin, A. M., Graham, E. E., Perse, E. M., & Seibold, D. R. (Eds.) (2009). Communication research measures II: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge.